Diagnosis: Weird

BF and I started dating in the middle of the summer. The following summer I would graduate from college and head off to get a full time job. When I went to get a physical before I knew I had to apply for health insurance, I got some interesting news.

I hadn't realized at the time, but I had all the symptoms. I was a little emotionally charged. I had my birth control changed to Yazmin and I thought it was that along with the new relationship. (I read in a magazine that when women fall in love, their serotonin levels actually drop!) I had never been in a serious dating relationship before, so I attributed my new emotionalness to the changes in my life.

I was also very tired. Like, narcolepsy tired. I have always been a night owl. BF and me would stay up until 5am on a good day. And suddenly, I couldn't stay awake past dark. I remember one time I tried to read a comic book to stay awake and was literally falling asleep sitting up. Another time, BF had a friend over and I was sitting on the bed in jeans and a hoodie. I slumped over with my hands in the kangaroo pocket early in the evening and woke up that same way the next morning. The guys had gone about the business of messing around all night and I missed the whole thing! I didn't even notice when BF came to bed.

And the one thing I thought was the weirdest was the cold. I am from NY and I revel in cold weather. And that winter was not exceptionally cold even by Northern Virginia standards. But for some reason, the cold just cut right through me. Even in a wool jacket I was freezing when other people - people who hated the cold - were telling me it really wasn't that cold out. I thought that this experience attributed to my drier than usual rash like skin that no lotion would cure. It sucked, but I didn't really think anything of it.

I have hypothyroidism. This happens when your thyroid gland does not produce enough thyroxin, a chemical that controls or affects many, many functions of your body including metabolism and mood. It's actually fairly common and controllable. I have to take a pill every day and will have to up my dosage more and more as I get older. When I am pregnant they will have to monitor my closely. If it gets too bad, there are really bad side effects. But, for right now, I am just a little over. Here are the symptoms of hypothyroidism from WebMd.com:

-Feeling tired, weak, or depressed
-Dry skin and brittle nails
-Not being able to stand the cold
-Constipation
-Memory problems or having trouble thinking clearly
-Heavy or irregular menstrual periods

Although I haven't really experience the latter (I've been on BC for too long) everything else is pretty much right on and I never even noticed it. Nowadays, I've mostly adjusted and if I take my pill regularly (on an empty stomach and 2 hours before eating... AKA 5am an hour and a half before I get up to go to work) I'm usually fine. But there are days... there are times. There is unexplainable mood shifts, there are times I'm covered in blankets and sweatpants and I just can't get warm, or when I can't really grasp what I'm thinking myself. But I've learned to deal. I make sure I drink enough water to keep my skin saturated and to avoid constipation (fun, huh?). If it's raining outside, I make sure I put on a coat because I know if I get wet and then go into AC I will catch that chill, and every time I always have a sweater with me for the freezer section of the grocery store.

Another problem with hypothyroidism? Weight gain. I haven't really struggled with this yes (but I have struggled with putting down the ice cream) but sometimes I do worry that I will. It is something that I keep in mind because some day I might not be able to lose the weight.

So. What does all this have to do with my wedding? Actually, I just found out something knew about my under active thyroid. It makes my nose turn red.

I have often noticed that in the middle of the day my nose will turn bright red. A red that I cannot cover with powder. It sucks and people have noticed. I am worried about my pictures. Am I going to be Rudolph in a white dress? I don't know if there is anything that my makeup artist can do but you can bet I'm gonna tell her. I actually red that a green powder will help to change it... green?

What happens is that when I go into AC or cold air, the blood capillaries in my nose get super tight. And when that changes to any kind of warmth or my body temperature rises, they get super dilated. So I get a hot red nose for all to see. I read that I can eat ice to cool my face... I guess I can do that. It just sucks because I know it will be cold outside and warm inside.

So yeah, that is my confession. Anyone with hypothyroidism out there that can relate?

-Bo. J.